Guest Blogger Time: HC Zuerner and The One

Today, we have guest blogger HC Zuerner (I still don't know how to pronounce that), and she is going to talk about The One with us. For me, The One is Nemesis, I suppose. It's one of those really strong stories that won't shut up.

And I'm going to shut up now and let her talk...

HC Zuerner and The One

I have been concocting stories since I can remember. I started many a book, short story or something of the like. I wrote poems and lyrics, which mainly were penned in junior high during the 80’s, so you can imagine how Hair Band they were. I started my first true novel the summer before I started high school.

We had our first computer, and I was typing on Word Star. I still hold great nostalgia for that blue background with white text. It was during the time that Young Riders was on TV and I was obsessed with Wild Bill Hickok. I had always loved the history of the Wild West, and I was inspired to write a historical fiction with him as a main character. I started writing and kept at it day and night until school started. I plugged away the next couple of years until I had over half of it finished. I even printed out 5 copies and put them in manila envelopes addressed to the publishing companies listed on my favorite books (I pulled the addresses from the inside cover of the books). Yes, I had no idea what I was doing, but that didn’t matter.

I was a writer.

Throughout the years, I had many more ideas and started several other novels. I seem to be incapable of short stories. I kept going back and revising my historical fiction, all with the intent of one day finishing it and being published. I even was a Writing/Lit major with a US History minor at college.

Life got in the way, and I became very ill. I had little energy to spend, and my writing became sporadic to almost non-existent at times. I finally started a blog to force myself to have a small avenue to write. It was a silly inspiration, but reading through the Twilight Saga made me desperate to write again. I also wanted to try my hand at something I had previously turned my nose up at, first person.

For years, I had been trying to write the story of my dream warrior, Gabriel. In fact, I had at least three separate Word documents attempting her novel. It wasn’t until I started writing her in first person that I found her; and then, an odd thing happened. I couldn’t STOP writing. I wrote in chunks. I wrote scenes in a notebook. I stayed up nights on end, typing, crafting, creating. I couldn’t sleep well because I was anxious to be up, going over what I had just written, revising and adding. I talked nonstop about it to my husband and friends.

The story consumed me, and I realized I had found The One.

It’s the story that isn’t just enjoyable or a piece of us writers. It is the story that brings us to life. The story we can’t put away, no matter what else clamors for our time. The characters that are more real to us than most of the people we know. The One is the story that owns us, mind and soul.

This is the story I will seek publication with; the story I will not stop writing until I have brought it out of my head and poured it onto the page. This is The One that will make my dreams reality.

The Fourth Wall

For those who are not writers or in theatre, the title may confuse you. We're going to stick with writing for this post. So what exactly is the fourth wall?

In writing, the fourth wall is that level or “wall” that separates a writer and audience from the characters. In other words, the fine line that keeps reality and fiction from blending into one another. Several writers do not cross the fourth wall or break it down, but I have met a few who do. When the fourth wall is intact, the writer and the characters do not intermingle or converse with each other, nor do the characters converse with the audience. Doing so can make us writers look a bit crazy, I suppose, but in all honesty, writers are a crazy bunch to begin with, since we all have some level of schizophrenia with an outlet going on. That’s what I call it, anyway. I mean, really, we have all these voices in our heads. Writing is how we get them out. And to be honest, when we have them tweeting with one another, we’re really talking to ourselves anyway, right? However, that’s not much different than having the dialogue in the book. The only difference is that it is in real time. This is why it seems odd, and because they can talk to you, the audience.

I recently broke down this wall. Why? Because it seems to help in getting to know the characters better. For instance, Shawn – one of my vampires – recently came to Vegas with me. I know, that sounds insane, but wait for it. He tweeted his little heart out during his stay and had a blast with the Wookies and me. And yes, he did converse with me. I don’t think I have to tell you how incredibly difficult that was without Splitweet available to me. It takes a lot of time, especially from a cell phone. However, in the car ride on the way home, I let Shawn take over from my phone for a while… when I had a signal. In fact, he took it right out of my hand and taunted me with it. Now, the question is, do I really believe Shawn was in the car with us and stealing my phone from me? Absolutely not. I do know the difference between reality and fiction, and while I always say that I have one foot in the door of the world I do not currently inhabit, I do not fall completely into the world I’m in at that particular time, either.

Yes, I have blended the two worlds a bit.

Yes, it is weird.

It will always be weird to me, no matter how often I do it. I don’t think it’s much different from what J.R. Ward does with her interviews of the Brotherhood, though. She steps into their world, instead of bringing them into hers. I happen to do the opposite. Either way, her characters are as real to her as mine are to me, and as real as LeStat is to Anne Rice.

My MC (main character) for Nemesis has also spoken with me on occasion. That was during the time where I had to write the query letter and synopsis for the MS (manuscript), and having Nemy out on Twitter and talking to people, as well as to me, helped me through that process because it’s a difficult one. Her character has really come alive, and I don’t mean in the living, breathing sort of way. Many people think that Nemy is modeled completely after me. This is not entirely true. Yes, she is a 6ft tall Italian girl, but most of my heroines are tall because I don’t see a lot of that in books. Us tall girls need someone to look up to, as well, you know. Nemy has a helluva lot more backbone than I do, too. Her father is a mafia man, whereas mine is just… well, we won’t go into that. While I do have some tattoos, Nemy is practically covered with them. Nemy has also found her damn Prince Charming, the bitch. In essence, Nemy really is her own person. She has a different personality than I do. Yes, I have worked as a bartender and I have been to strip clubs before, but I have to tell you, the first bustier/corset I’ve ever worn was quite recently in Vegas. It’s not a comfortable article of clothing for me, but Nemy is quite comfortable in them. Nemy is a product of some of my experiences, yes, but at the same time, she has several of her own to work with for the story. Quite simply, Nemy and I are not the same person. No more than Kylie and me, or Nadira and me are the same, or even Armen and me. They are all unique in their worlds, as am I in mine. *I am a snowflake*

But I digress…

I think the first time I ever breached the fourth wall was during Nemy and Shawn’s fight on Twitter—the Monday Night Brawl. I spoke to one of my first-ever created characters, Kylie, who announced the entire event. I also spoke with a friend’s character during that event, which I found amusing, as it was all still new to me. That was the first time I had ever had a multi-character-from-several-different-books event, and man was that a pain in the ass, although quite entertaining. I’ll probably never do one that big again, but recently a few of the boys had a poker game. Other writers’ characters popped into that one as well, which made it even more entertaining as well as interesting.

So why is it called the fourth wall and not the third or second wall? The term originated in theatre and is an “imaginary wall” through which the audience watches the events taking place onstage. Breaking the fourth wall is used for dramatic or comedic effect, but also “reveals to the audience that the characters know they are fictional” (Wikipedia, Fourth Wall). You can read a bit more on that site.

So there you have it.

I just thought I’d give a little insight on the inner workings of one specific point of the writer’s mind, which can be a pretty damn scary place at times. So when it comes out into the open, now you’ll know that there may be a slight possibility that the writer isn’t inherently insane… so to speak. Now, the characters on the other hand, might be a completely different story.
.

A Quick Note

Things are not always what they seem to be. Bear that in mind. Always.

Eh

I was going to put up a post about my Vegas weekend, but I'm kind of upset by something I discovered tonight when I got home. Actually, there are a few things I came home to, so I'll post the Vegas thing later this week when I've rediscovered my bearings that have been thrown completely out of whack.

Travel Time

Heading to Vegas in... crap, seven hours! I am so not sleeping tonight. Not cool! Working on sending out a few queries before I TRY to sleep. We'll see what happens...

I, of course, will be tweeting from Vegas. The Wookie-man is loaning me a memory card so I can take and send lots of pics via twitpic. Woo hoo! And I just have to tell you, I'm pleasantly surprised by the quality of photo from the Blackberry Pearl. It's not tiny, like my last phone's pics. Very cool. =)

Ok, this was just a quick post. Doubt I'll have time to tweet until we're on the road. Let's hope I don't get carsick in the Beamer! LOL

Happy 4th of July everyone!

Switch It Up!

It seems all I'm writing these days are My Life in Hell posts, so let's switch that up, shall we?

1. I've signed up on Bloggersbase and have posted a few blogs there. It's a weekly competition that could end in some cash if I get enough votes (hint, hint). Yes, you have to sign up to vote, but hey, you can leave comments, too! Here's the latest: Media: "Film Review: Taken" by @Jinxie_G - www.bit.ly/D4QVj Voting ends on Thursdays, I think. When I have some more time, I'll write up some new stuff.

2. I've discovered recently that I'm going to have to outline my rewrite of Wolf's Bane: Blood Moon. I am not happy about this. I don't outline unless it's for a school paper. My outlines for novels come after the fact, not before.

3. Did I mention that I hate outlining?

4. The reason for that is because I'm a pantser, not a plotter.

5. That sounds really bad at this hour.

6. Actually, I think that sounds really bad at any hour.

7. I am still querying Nemesis and have received a few rejections thus far, but I've rewritten the query and it sounds MUCH better now, so I'll continue to query until I find someone who's interested in it because this book needs to get out there! I've received some great responses from beta readers.

8. One agent has responded but not yet rejected. Waiting, waiting...

9. The query process is kind of a pain in the ass, but I know it will pay off down the road. And really, it's not so much sending out the queries as it is doing all the hours of research to make sure you're getting everything in the submission guidelines correct for EACH agent. I've resorted to having everything I need prepared and leaving a tab open linked to AgentQuery.com as I skim through the agents listed for my genre, and then emailing each one individually with the required information.

10. Some want a one-page synopsis. Some want three pages. Some want 3, 5, or 10 pages of the first chapter. Some only want the query letter itself. Can't we all agree on this, please?

11. Shut up, Nichelle!

12. Yes, that's my real name.

13. And speaking of genre, I don't normally write women's fiction, but I've discovered I'm pretty damn good at it. My partner in crime for the 'zine, Sharon Gerlach (aka Siobhan MacIntyre), is pretty damn good at it, too. (Oh who am I kidding? I write romance into EVERYTHING!)

14. I really should write up another post on the Forever Nocturne blog, since we have an issue coming up soon.

15. Considering a Tweet horror contest on Twitter for it. Horror in 140 characters or less! That was inkgypsy's idea. Thanks chica!

16. I still haven't found a job yet, and yes, I'm still working on it. July is going to be a tough month.

17. And now I must get back to work... oh crap, it's 2 AM.

18. Okay, I'll send out a couple of queries, and THEN I'll go to bed.

19. G'night.

20. One last thing: working on a new blog (not mine, but I'm participating). Details to follow soon.

21. I'm the busiest unemployed person I know. Somebody really should pay me for this shit. =p

22. G'night for realz this time.

My Life in Hell: Stupid %^$%(*+ Laptop

I swear I'm going to frisbee-toss this thing!

First, the DVD drive is out. Went out a while back and of course, the extended warranty is expired. No new drive for me for some time. Second, now I think the USB ports are going bad. It recognizes my new Blackberry, and then it doesn't, and then it does again for about oh... two seconds. It takes forever to recognize my iPod. Fucking annoying. And let's not forget how sloooooooooow the thing is acting.

Ok, time to do a backup and clean some shit up, otherwise I'll go insane... oh wait, we're almost there already.

I need a new laptop. This one is what... 4 years old now? I think. Hell, I can't remember anymore. I got it the spring after I joined WritersCafe.org. So, whenever that was, that's how old it is. It might only be 3 years old. Shit if I know.


Oh hey, I got a new phone. =) It's pink. I know, kind of scary, isn't it? Anyway, it's a Blackberry Pearl. Why did I get a phone without the touch screen? Because right now I can't afford the phone WITH the touch screen and the Pearl was only 99 cents at Alltel. Cheap. Works for me.

Must now go find food since I have spent the last few hours playing with this damn phone and tweeting and trying to figure out how to move my ringtones from one phone to the other. Yep, the reason I know my stupid laptop won't recognize the BB. Had both phones hooked up to it.


On a side note: I woke up in a great mood today and even made myself some French toast and bacon and tea. Nine hours later, I'm irritable. Go figure. Headache city. God, have I reached that point in life where I need to take naps again?

(wow, that was a bunch of babbling)

My Life in Hell: Hell, I Have No Title

The pitbull wants to play and won't stop biting me! OUCH! That hurts you little shit! I tweeted this one day: Dearest little pitbull puppy, I understand that you think my hand is a chew toy, and I'm cool with that, but my elbow is definitely NOT a chew toy! OUCH!

This evening it was my wrist. I've come to the conclusion that my hand is like a pacifier for him. Crazy dog. He's not really even a puppy anymore, being two and a half now.

He's hunting a grasshopper right now, with his head leaning over the edge of the futon. Yes, I have a futon on my patio.

I started to write a blog post yesterday, something along the lines of Father's Day, but it went south really fast. Might have something to do with the fact that I don't have a dad. Not due to death; more like abandonment and disownment. He's disowned me twice and I've disowned him once, which will be the last time. Long story if you don't know me personally, but it happened about three years ago during the last family feud. Yeah, that was fun. So anyway, that one isn't getting posted, and I'm going to stop talking about it right now before it heads south again. Of course, being that this is my life in hell, it would fit. haha

The beginning of last week denoted the week from Hell for me, literally, until a bunch of little Twitter birds saved me from my breakdown and kept me in connection with the world. I can't even begin to thank them enough. The love and friendship overwhelmed me, and it was totally unexpected, especially since I only know one of them in real life (actually two, as they are a couple). I shall call them my Twitter saviors (hey, there's my title). You guys have no idea what you've done for me, but know this: when you are in need, I will help you if I can, however I can. I am always true to my word. And I'm going to stop talking about this before I start crying again. That's how deeply it affected me.

Now, if I could just find a job. Yes, Heather, I'm calling on Tuesday!

I just found out today that my little brother isn't doing so good, either, and he and his girlfriend just bought a house in Colorado not too long ago. I have to say, though, that I overheard my mother say something to him that kind of irked me. She said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "See, you tried to get ahead in life and it didn't work." This was in the context of jobs and you know, having a sense of ownership. I love my mother dearly, I really do, but if you guys ever wonder why I'm so damn pessimistic, it runs in my family. I try really hard to be optimistic, and let me tell you, it's a lot of work for this girl. So here's something optimistic for you...

One really cool thing did happen to me Monday on Twitter. Jessica Faust and Kim Lionetti from BookEnds, LLC literary agency started a Twitter pitch contest Monday that will run for the week. They're calling it "Twitch Week!" Awesome idea and Jessica picked mine for Dusk of Death! WOOT! She also apparently liked my Twitter name. =) Now here's hoping I get picked at the end of the week!

Here's the pitch I threw out there: Demons, detectives, and a forensic scientist who has fallen from Hell. Hell wants her back. Let the demon hunt begin.

Yeah, so the week ended on a good note. Those are my kind of weeks! Now I'm off to rewrite an article and finish some edits on Dusk of Death. And I'll get back to querying Nemesis tomorrow, since I found some more agents. Kim Lionetti was one of them, I believe. Oh wait, I already queried her the other day. She hasn't answered yet. Four rejections and counting, peeps. The bigger that number gets, the closer I am, right? I have a pitch ready for Nemesis, too. Wanna see?

Nemesis hates men, so of course her boss Clancy is hot. If he turns out to be Prince Charming, Nemy's gonna have to punch him.

And I'm out. Peace.

My Life in Hell: Synopses

Apparently, I can't seem to remember to do this on Mondays, either, so I suppose they'll just be done at random... or when I remember to do them. LOL I never was good at the whole journaling thing. I'd rather write stories.

Have I already done a post with this title? I don't remember. *shrugs* Oh well. Anyway, I've been working on my synopsis for the past two nights, among the other things I've been working on in order to get some cash in my pocket, and I have to say that my synopsis for Nemesis is coming along nicely. Right now, I am about 2600 words into it. That's about 3 1/2 pages so far, and I'm about to start chapter 13. This would be roughly the halfway mark for the book, which has me elated. It's looking like a 7-page synopsis, after which I will have Heather edit in hopes to bring that page number down a bit. I'm also doing a small edit while going through this, so it should be primed by the time I'm done. Sweet! I did send a query for this book last night to KT Literary because they don't ask for the synopsis up front. Here's hoping they like what they see, but I know better than to get my hopes up. I'm also waiting to see if the Query Shark will post and critique my query letter for Nemesis. It would be nice to have a professional opinion, since I went outside the norm for this one. You can see the query letter here.

And my computer is seriously pissing me off tonight, as well as Firefox (don't make me switch to IE. I hate IE, but I WILL switch, damn you!). So, Ahmed...


So, with that, I'm going back to work on my synopsis and the many other things I need to get done this evening.

Birthday Blogging & Boobs

Wow, has it really been a year? I remember this day last year quite well. I was stuck at home while the fiance (now ex) had to work the entire weekend. It was my Friday the 13th birthday, the actual day I was born on 39 years prior. Those don't come around too often, ya know. Needless to say, I was sadly disappointed with the outcome of my birthday weekend last year because I sat here on the laptop, which is something I do nearly every freakin' night. I didn't want to do that on my birthday, too!

My 40th birthday has so far made up for last year entirely... and it's not over yet.

Friday evening (technically not my birthday yet) began around 10pm with the Wookies' and Flygirlie picking me up (yes, we try not to use real names around here), and then we headed up to Scottsdale where Skin Cabaret is located, and where we sat next to the stage. This is also where I had my face pushed between several pairs of breasts. Not saying I didn't like that, but yeah, all because the Wookies know one of the girls, I received quite a bit of attention. *giggles* Wookie-man has coined a new hashtag on Twitter - #boobfunk. The girls really liked his bald head.

For those who follow the Wookies and me on Twitter, you may have noticed a discussion about one of the girls who goes by the name Judy Booty. Well yes, Judy Booty was there and yes, she can do exactly what Wookiesgirl said she could, which is move each of her butt cheeks independently to the beat of the music. Wow! Abso-fucking-lutely amazing! Here's a song I tweeted earlier today just for her.

By the way, this is probably the first time ever I have been SOOOOO grateful I did not hear Closer by Nine Inch Nails. And again, the song is NOT called I want to fuck you like an animal.

Warning, I'm about to go ADD on you

The awesome part of the evening (well, there were several, actually) was that my friend the Schoolteacher and her man showed up to celebrate with me. Another awesome part of the evening was that during one of the dances, all patrons had to stand up, let the girls sit down, and said patrons had to dance for the girls. That was great! Yes, I danced. Now, aside from having umpteen pairs of boobs in my face, countless lap dances (thank you, Wookies!), and several watered down drinks (I'm gonna strangle that short-pouring bartender), I had a really great time with great friends...

But we're not done yet. Oh no, we are not.

I give you...

The Bollox at Club Red at 1AM immediately following strip central, and we arrived just in time to see their entire set. Awesome! I have not been quiet about how much I love this band. They are wonderful. And more friends appeared at this concert! Jinxie was very happy!

Until the stage-dive at the end of the last song.

Once again, I had to play bouncer/security/whatever to stop someone who was with us from fighting. I headlocked her and walked her across the dance floor. What happened? Guy did a stage dive. Landed on a girl. Yes, it's not cool. BUT... Little clue here for those not in the know when it comes to concerts - when someone is standing on stage and they point at the crowd (not at you, per se, like this person thought), it means a STAGE DIVE is inevitable! And if you saw the guy point at you, when he started to run forward, why the fuck didn't you move out of the damn way??? That's what I would have done, and yes, there would have been enough time.

Ok, maybe I'm just a mean bitch, but when have you guys ever known me to be otherwise?

I could not calm her down. Finally, I was told to let her deal with her own consequences. Whatever. Time for a smoke. The adrenaline killed my buzz at that point and I'm pretty sure it's the reason I only slept for a couple of hours. I wasn't put into a bad mood by this, so don't misread that, but there is a reason I hate people and alcohol-related bullshit is a very big one.

Now we have moved on into my actual birthday, and as mentioned above, I only slept a couple of hours... maybe. I went to bed when I got home, read for a bit, and tossed and turned and kind of slept. I remember dreaming - think it had something to do with zombies or maybe vampires, not sure - and after an hour of not getting back to sleep, I climbed out of bed, cooked myself some breakfast - bacon, eggs, tea - and surfed the interwebz, of course. Don't shake your head at me. I know I'm addicted. Shut it.

I did some laundry and took a nap (I know, my life is just so glam). Umi woke me up to inform me that the ex was here... do I really want to get out of bed yet? *looks at clock* Holy crap, yes, I should do that! Sat and chatted with him for a bit, watched some TV, made the bed after flipping the mattress (that was a bitch and a half), and found myself once again online. *sigh* I seem to have no life, but really, I promise that I do have something that resembles one.

So, as it stands right now, I'm waiting for the Wookies to get home from the lake and let me know if they're too tired for me to come over and hang out because I really don't feel like doing too much else. Sunday is the big birthday BBQ, celebrating several birthdays at once... and I've just been told they may not be home until midnight.

I'm gonna go park my ass on the futon outside now. I'll add to this tomorrow when I get home.

On a quick side note: I joined Twitter last year on my birthday. LOL